I Am Still Weak....
"I don't want to be a hypocrite. I am not in favor of the in-betweens until... now."I am at the lowest point[so far] of my failing career. I didn't seemed that depressed a few minutes earlier but as i walk alone along the street, i can't help but to say to my self... "what the ---- is wrong with me".
As for why i was.... come to think of it.. is depressed is not really that important. The important thing is through this the realization of i view people had bit.... well, not that good. Aside from the fact that i am very paranoid... i have been judgemental. Why do i hate some people for their
orientation? What should i feel annoyed by those who... moved away from the common cycle of the world?
Why should i feel bad for them when there is something more than who they chose to like... or even love....
I have been narrow minded in this issue. How could i let myself be blinded by the dictates of the society? I should have looked to the deeper part of them, just like the way i searched through the 'ordinary' people. If i hadn't been that stupid, i should have known earlier that even them could have a bigger heart than those who .... =)
I want to thank you. I know that once you've read this you will know that it is you that i am refering to. You are more human than the other [pathetic] humans i know... [okay, i know you are a demi-god?]
Thank you for those kind words... thank you for teaching me not to be well...[looks up....]
..... the @#$*! I couldn't thank you enough
..... i hate the drama =)
Letting Go
when you live in a dorm you expect people to come and after several days or months or even years, leave you without knowing if we could see each other in the future. For the highly emotional, that sucks. that really sucks. but.... for those who re better off lone, it is okay. i don't care. i have my own life. i move on.
for me,i don't think much about the people leaving the dorm. i do not really care much about people. it may sound bad.. or cold but cherishing rrealtionshps toomuch could end up hurting other people who couyld feel that you do not care about them the same way you care about others or they care about you.
now, i am in that situation, well, not me, my family. a mother who c\ould no longer feel the warmth of a daughter.. and a daughter who cherish friends too much, she is afraid to move on. being between all this... -crap! is not good. seeing both sides cry... and hurt is not really a good sight for me.... what is all the crying about?!.. oh! don't blame me... don't blame me for being cold.... but there is world out there.. a life to live than all these people. there is a [harsher/ more harsh-whatever!] reality that is worse than letting go and moving on.f you would bestuck at that part... how can you enjoy the adventure and life itself...
anyway... wht is it with people who start blog but then, gets tired easily... are they bloging because it is 'uso'? duh!
A Tale of Two Teachers
i was wondering.. how can two persons who could be so alike be treated so differently.
They were both good teachers, excelling in their field. both makes their subjects fun and interesting. but have manners of catching attention from he class. and in my observation, treat ther students the same way.
but how come, students treat them differently? one was considered on of the best teachers but the other was a bit blah! [not to me] one was respected but the other is backbitten...
could tbe because of the subjects they teach... or the age... or even te level of understanding of the students, who can't .... i don't know.... understand?
the point is... if you are smart enough.. you know what is right... on't reat people like drt just because you think you are the best bunch of students this world as manufactured. you are all still a big BLAH!
FREE....
when was the last time i felt free....
hmmm.... a couple of minutes ago, i ws going to get some money from the ATM of the bank where the freakin' security guard works[check previous posts]...
and guess what, when he started teasing me, i looked at him and said,"... know what, i can tell the authorities about what you are doing..."[or something like that!]
I SURE FEEL FREE!!!!! =)
Happy Burthdays
i didn'thave the time to greet a few people happy birth day... you know who you are... many happy returns..
