Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Finally

Over.

After five long weeks... (yada yada.. drama)
the cold war was over. and it only took a Quiet time with God and a green tumbler which is a freebie from an bag of iced tea powder.

i was waaay wrong when thought they never cared about me getting mad at them. but they really were. i extracted a story from one of them. that was something the other one would like to keep secret. heehee.

anyway, the newws spread in annex like wild fire. i recall that i can't answer their questions. they realized that she is no longer staying in our rom and they are asking why er.. what happened..

haha. glad that it is over. and now we are acting like nothing really happened. harhar

I was in the mental facility until @ 4:06 PM
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Monday, October 10, 2005

thank you for giving me strength

i read about Sinless Anger in Our Daily Bread this very early morning [2AM].

as for this moment i am at a struggle reagrding relationships, a part of human life which i should receive a grade lower than 5.

but at least i made a move. i sent a message to one of the two. to the person whom i feel less resentment. i hope she reads that as early as possble.

the people around are pushing me to make a move. five weeks is a really long time to not talk with someone. i recall, i stopped talking to a classmate for a year. they reated, "may balak ka bang talunin yung record na iyon?!"
oh, well.....

the thing is. i know that i am full of pride and bitterness. i know i am weak. and i know that the only way to gain peace is to have peace in one's self. so i made a move. maybe not to both but as someone said "take it a step at a time"
He gave me the strength to take the first step. i am grateful for it. and i also thank Him for putting these people around me. These people who constantly bump my head and pester me.

I was in the mental facility until @ 10:03 AM
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Saturday, October 08, 2005

Crazy Again

it just felt weird.

Seeing the video of Simple Plan's Crazy.
If you can recall my previous entries, i post the lyrics of the song. and i mentioned that the world really is crazy.


the song actually hit me in a vulnerable spot.
so here it is again..




"Crazy"
by Simple Plan

Tell me what's wrong with society
When everywhere I look, I see
Young girls dying to be on TV
They won't stop till they've reached their dreams

Diet pills, surgery
Photoshopped pictures in magazines
Telling them how they should be
It doesn't make sense to me

Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody gonna save me?
Can anybody tell me what's going on?
Tell me what's going on?
If you open your eyes
You'll see that something is wrong

I guess things are not how they used to be
There's no more normal families
Parents act like enemies
Making kids feel like it's World War III

No one cares, no one's there
I guess we're all just too damn busy
And money's our first priority
It doesn't make sense to me

Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody gonna save me?
Can anybody tell me what's going on?
Tell me what's going on?
If you open your eyes
You'll see that something is wrong

Is everybody going crazy?
Is everybody going crazy?

Tell me what's wrong with society
When everywhere I look I see
Rich guys driving big SUVs
While kids are starving in the streets

No one cares
No one likes to share
I guess life's unfair

Is everybody going crazy?
Is anybody gonna save me?
Can anybody tell me what's going on?
Tell me what's going on?
If you open your eyes
You'll see that something, something is wrong

Is everybody going crazy?
Can anybody tell me what's going on?
Tell me what's going on?
If you open your eyes
You'll see that something is wrong

I was in the mental facility until @ 1:51 PM
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Happy... *blink blink

well, i haven't been taht happy with my deviations lately. i think they are a bit mediocre. it's like i am sbmitting for the sake of having something to post.

anyway, i just borrowed a friend's camera for a psych project and i end up using the rest of the space and batteries for me pics... i was thinking of a new devArtID. so, i now have a new id and a new photo to be submitted.

i am a bit happy of the results. it did not beat the record of my photomanipulation To The Light but someone saying that your work is Perfect. that really makes my day. or.. when someone says that the picture is really beautiful.. when i am the one in the pic, is well, hahahahahahahaha! conceited me! very conceited me!

when i opened my account and these were the first things i noticed i can't help it but to chuckle with happiness...
happy, sha-la-la-la...
it's so nice to be happy...

I was in the mental facility until @ 1:20 PM
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Thursday, October 06, 2005

Vote for it on TRL

"Who I Am Hates Who I've Been"
by Relient K

I watched the proverbial sunrise
coming up over the Pacific and
you might think I'm losing my mind,
but I will shy away from the specifics...

'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
in the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

[Pre-Chorus]
Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
that it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

[Chorus]
I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to try and never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
to create so much pressure that I’ll soon blow up.

I heard the reverberating footsteps
sinking up to the beating of my heart,
and I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.

And I can’t let that happen again
‘cause then you’ll see my heart
in the saddest state it’s ever been.
This is no place to try and live my life.

Who I am hates who I've been
and who I am won’t take the second chance you gave me.
Who I am hates who I’ve been
‘cause who I’ve been only ever made me...

So sorry for the person I became.
So sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I’m ready to try and never become that way again
‘cause who I am hates who I’ve been.
Who I am hates who I’ve been.

-------------------
i am turning into a Relient K fan

I was in the mental facility until @ 10:23 PM
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Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Over a Huge Glass of Coffee

We had our last Small Group err... a crash course to finish our curriculum Lofty Heights (CG Vertigo). We finished the curriculum through a meeting to talk about Daniel and Nehemiah.

Maybe i will write about our sessions for another article. i will just write about the fellowship and the bonding session.

we went to Starbucks at UN Avenue near Manila Pavillion. Our CG leader treated us will a huge glass of cold coffee, err, frappe, eer rhumba. actually that was the first time i set foot on Starbucks.. hehe i fear that i might get addicted with it and risk my pockets-ouch!

after the discussion, and summing up the curriculum, we chatted for an hour and a half about philosophy, books, dreams, books, Tolkien and Lewis, and many other stuff.
haha. it was a fun thing to do. chatting, bonding with people like you(abnormal psychology.. weheheheh.) then comes the picture-picture part. haha. this is the funniest part. if i gor the pics maybe i will upload them. haha.


i ended up with a few wishes....

i wish our CG leader will update his blog.
i wish my CG leader next sem will still be Mr. haha RAINBOW
i wish we will still belong to the same CG...
i wish there will be bonding sessions like this
i wish there will be another person who will treat me again in Starbucks.

haaay... sa uulitin....

I was in the mental facility until @ 9:34 PM
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