what normal eyesight sometimes can't see...

Transformed!

Many friends are surpised to see the ictures in m Friendster Account.

I am trying to rip off all the really gloomy and punk costume and be someone who I really am. Of course, I still like some gothic and some punk music, but that is just a part of eclectic taste. Honestly, leaving the univ to be with my family has really been helpful. I am starting to answer man of my life's uncertainties. I am starting to know myself more. I am no longer as confused as before.

I discovered that I must focus on my talent in visual art, first. I was juggling over visual art, literture and theater. After a year, I have improved my visual art skills and talent, I haven't touched my novels, and dreams of being in the theater has slowly decreased.

I also returned to my original self - the childish, anime and j-culture fan... I am no rakista. I just appreciate songs and artists. I am not the goody goody girl. No one has ever thought of me as such. My temper is... ^_^ hehe scary? I am no tomboy. I could be friendly with the XY's but my way of life is really different from them.

This is me - a closet kikay, a j-culture fanatic, a book and music lover, a geek... an artist. I will not be someone just because the world wants me to be like that. I am me. No one can change that.

I was in the mental facility until @ 2:38 PM
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So Hard...

It is hard to start talking about the current family situation. I often feel tired and stressed just thinking about it. Life lessons that we already heard and perhaps have not yet grasped keep on repeating itself through our experiences.. (Am I making sense.. or is that sentence rubbish?)

Anyway, the dreaded hyperacidity is back.

I am seriously thinking of resigning as the College Council's PRO. I think it is pointless to serve people who does not deserve to be respected or helped. But who am I to judge them? I should not let the opportunity to help pass. But after all their comments and rants, I really feel traumatized.

I also want to keep distance from a teacher who has also been a friend. There are a lot of times when her decisions are unfair, biased and just simply unbelievable.

As for home, I think life is crazier now with all the problems and stuff that I can't say here.








i d o n ' t t h i n k i a m m a k i n g a n y s e n s e



so depressed..

I was in the mental facility until @ 1:46 PM
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ZAZAI in ToyCon 2007

It has been a week since I traveled to SM Megamall for the 6th Philippine Toys, Hobbies, and Collectibles Convention. Honestly, it was my first time to go to such event and I was a bit uncomfortable. I fear that I might feel out of place and everyone there knows each other. I went there with a classmate who excitedly cancelled his plans for the weekend upon hearing mine. I don’t really mind him coming with me but I wished that he wouldn’t act like a naïve kid who gets fascinated with trivial things… err, ranting again sorry .

It has been years since I went to Megamall so we had a little trouble looking for the Megatrade Hall. In a few minutes I realized… duh! There are vicinity maps by the escalators. So, gleefully, we head to the 5th Floor of Building B.

Though, i did not get to meet the deviant artists that i wanted to meet, buying that amount of plushies makes me uber happy. July 17-18 definitely was one of the happiest days of my life. Maybe, next time, I will be cosplaying .....

I was in the mental facility until @ 1:20 PM
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okay okay okay

I hate pink.


But come to think of it, considering pink as the color the uber-feminine prefers makes me feel like I am putting walls around the hue. That also means I am labeling it as that something which can not be used in a different way or by different kind of people. Here are some stuff that I've read from Sensational Color (http://www.sensationalcolor.com/):

HOW THE COLOR PINK EFFECTS US
Bright pinks have the same effect on us as red. They stimulate energy and can increase the blood pressure, respiration, heartbeat, and pulse rate.
Bright pinks also encourage action and confidence.
Pink has been used in prison holding cells to effectively to reduce erratic behavior.


PINK AROUND THE GLOBE
The pink ribbon is an internationally recognized symbol of hope and awareness in the fight against breast cancer.
In Japan, the color pink has a masculine association. The annual blooming of the cherry trees, with it's pink blossoms, each spring ( the Sakura ) is said to represent the young Japanese warriors who fell in battle in the prime of life ( the Samurai).
The city of Jaipur City is a foremost tourist attraction in India because of its superlative forts, grandiose palaces, vivacious temples, multicolored bazaars, pulsating streets and its distinguished pink color to which the city owes its oft-used name 'The Pink City'. Learn more about this colorful city

Marrakesh is another city associated with the color pink. It is sometimes refered to as the "Rose City", describing it's salmon pink colored buildings and the red clay of it's terrain. Learn more about the Rose City

RELIGIOUS & MYTHOLOGICAL ASSOCIATIONS OF PINK
Pink signifies happiness and joy in Catholicism.

POLITICAL ASSOCIATIONS OF PINK
A pink triangle is frequently used to represent gays, lesbians, and bisexuals.
The origin of the pink triangle goes back to when Nazis labeled their prisoners in concentration camps. Men who had been jailed because of supposed homosexuality had to wear the pink triangle on their clothing. In more recent times, this symbol is a sign of pride.

With that, I will no longer hate that color. Just don't let me wear anything pink. :)

I was in the mental facility until @ 11:19 AM
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The Flavor of Life

(Utada Hikaru)

Arigatou to kimi ni iwareru to nandaka setsunai
sayonara no ato no tokenu mahou awaku horonigai
The flavor of life

tomodachi demo koibito demo nai chuukan chiten de
shuukaku no hi wo yumemiteru aoi furu-tsu
ato ippo ga fumidasenai sei de
jirettai no nan notte? baby~

arigatou to kimi ni iwareru to nandaka setsunai
sayounara no ato no tokenu mahou awaku horonigai
The flavor of life

amai dake no sasoi monku ajike no nai doku
sonna mono ni wa kyoumi wa sosorarenai
omoitoori ni ikanai toki datte
jinsei suteta mon janai tte

doushita no? to kyuu ni kikareru to “uun. nandemo nai”
sayounara no ato ni kieru egao watashi rashikunai
sinjitai to negaeba negau hodo nandaka setsunai
“aishiteru yo” yori mo “daisuki” no hou ga kimi rashii janai?
The flavor of life

wasurekakete ita hito no omoi wo totsuzen omoidasu koro
furitsumoru yuki no shirosa wo omou to sunao ni yorokobitai yo

daiyamondo yorimo yawarakakute atatakana mirai
teni shitai yo kagiri aru jikan wo kimi to sugoshitai
“arigatou” to kimi ni iwareru to nandaka setsunai
sayounara no ato no tokenu mahou awaku horonigai
The flavor of life

ENGLISH:

When you say thank you to me,
for some reason it hurts,
Like a magic spell that doesn’t
get undone even after the good bye.
a hint of bitterness.
The flavor of life

Stuck midpoint between friends and lovers,
like an un-riped fruit dreaming about the day of harvest
because of being unable to just move one more step forward
what’s causing this frustration baby

When you say thank you to me,
for some reason it hurts,
Like a magic spell that doesn’t
get undone even after the good bye.
a hint of bitterness
The flavor of life

Sweet talk and tasteless conversations.
it sparks no interest in me
even when things do not go the way you want
it doesnt mean you’ve thrown your life away

When asked ‘ whats wrong?’
I answer ‘its nothing’
The smile that disappears after goodbye
It’s unlike me

The more i wish to believe in you,
For some reason it hurts even more
‘i like you a lot’ instead of ‘i love you’ sounds more like you
the flavor of life

the period when you suddenly remember the scent of someone you had almost forgotten
I want to be able to openly and honestly cherish the white purity of the falling snow more

A future tender and warmer than a diamond
i want to grasp it, in this limited time we have, i want to spend it with you

when you say thank you to me,
for some reason it hurts,
Like a magic spell that doesnt
get undone even after the good bye.
a hint of bitterness
The flavor of life

I was in the mental facility until @ 11:37 AM
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And Now I'm Back to School

sheesh...

I must admit, I really didn't enjoy my vacation. First, i did not pursue my plans. Second, I got sick. Then, my image files are all gone. I couldn't finish a deviation or even add a few pages in my novel. I rarely visit my blog and my other web accounts. And lastly, my hubby's (My PC) memory is back to 256MB because the other RAM died.

And now, I am back to school.

At least, the summer had one very good end... i lost a lot of weight. (it is not obvious,though...err... but the weighing scale doesn't lie!):) hurrah!!!

I was in the mental facility until @ 11:23 AM
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